Come Back
by Ashleigh Crawley
Summary: Robert and Cora have a disastrous wedding night after Cora tries to make it perfect for him, but Robert is terrified. Nominated for a Highclere Award in the Robert/Cora angst category.


"Robert, please stay," Cora begged, sitting up on the bed. "Please? Just for tonight at least?"

"Cora, I can't. It's improper," he said, trying to ignore the fact that his new wife was upset. "Besides, I'm not even supposed to do anything except for be with you, to try and create an heir. I'm sorry. I'm really, so very sorry."

"But, Robert," Cora begged. "I love you." She looked at him with her signature puppy eyes that she always gave when she would begin crying.

Robert sighed, not making eye contact with her. "Goodnight, Cora," he said, turning and going into his dressing room. Cora started crying almost right away. She couldn't do this. The man she loved didn't love her back, and she would never spend a night with him. This was how their honeymoon was going to go? It was a horrible night, when it should have been wonderful. Their wedding night. The most important night in a woman's life, and it had been horrible. When she and Robert had discussed their wedding, Cora had spent a small time (well, a rather significant amount of time) thinking less of the day and more of the night and how she wanted it to be perfect for her and Robert. She had purchased a new nightgown, left her hair down and lit a great many candles to make it romantic and perfect. When Robert had come in, she had been sitting at her vanity, brushing her hair. She smiled as she stood to walk over to him while he had removed his dressing gown. He had gone to the bed after removing her's for her and whispering: 'you look nice Cora.' She had blushed at his statement, but did she only look nice? Had she failed him already?

The night had not gone as planned. Is pyjamas and her nightgown had remained on. It had hurt, but as much as Robert had told her to relax, she just couldn't. She couldn't help but wonder if somehow she had failed him. Once it was over he had kissed her gently and he moved to lay beside her, but the moment she tried to get closer to him, he had gotten up, saying that he had to go. She continued crying as she played it over in her head. What on Earth had she done wrong? Was it not romantic enough for him? Would he have preferred another woman than her, an English woman? A woman who would have been called beautiful, or even gorgeous? She sobbed thinking about him, the man she loved. She had given him everything: her life, her fortune, her body; and yet, he still didn't want to try and love her.

Cora got off the bed and walked over to his dressing room door, still crying. She considered knocking on it, but noticed that his light was off and she could hear his soft snores. She didn't want to wake him so all she could do was whisper, and beg for him to come back. Come back and hold her. Come back and tell her she meant something to him. Come back and tell her what she had e wrong. Come back and just be with her. "Robert," she whispered, continuing to cry. "Please come back. Please. Just come back. I love you, Robert. Come back."

Cora repeated those words over and over again as she slid to the floor, curling into a ball. "Come back," she repeated. "Oh, Robert, come back, please. I'm begging you, come back. I need you, I love you. Please come back, don't leave me." Cora continued repeating those words getting colder and colder, lying on the floor. All that covered her body was her thin nightgown. Falling asleep, she continued murmuring: 'come back.' She fell asleep repeating those words.

Miss Hart, Lady Cora's maid entered her room the next morning to see if her mistress was awake after the night she had planned for herself and Lord Robert. She found her mistress without her new husband, curled into a ball by Lord Robert's dressing room, murmuring 'come back' every so often. She suddenly got really worried and decided to find Lady Cora's husband. She assumed this to be an emergency, so she used the main stairs, rather than the servant stairs. She knocked on the door of the dining room to see if Lord Robert was eating. He was at breakfast with his father, sister and his sister's fiance. "M'Lord," Miss Hart said quietly, Lord Grantham looking up at her. "I meant Lord Downton."

Robert looked up from his breakfast, it looked as if he had been crying. Something must have gone terribly wrong. "Yes, Miss Hart?" he asked.

"It's an emergency, M'Lord, Lady Downton is... well, I think you should see it," she said. Robert looked at his father and got up after receiving a nod from his father. Robert allowed Miss Hart to use the main stairs once again. The two of them hurried to Cora's bedroom, Robert opening the door and rushing to Cora when he saw her lying on the floor.

"Miss Hart, you may go, I'll ring for you if there's anything she needs," he said, taking Cora into his arms and carrying her to the bed. He noticed the blood on the sheets, as the maids hadn't been to change the sheets yet. _That must be from last night,_ he thought. _What kind of man am I? I hurt my wife. Oh, no, she'll never forgive me now. _He could tell that Cora was cold from the fact that she was only wearing her night gown. Her face was red and tear-streaked from crying. _Tears that I caused. I am such an ass. Cora is so beautiful and I just got up and left. I don't know how to be a good husband. _He gently put her on the bed, covering her with the sheets and duvet. He held her hand, before deciding to get into the bed with her and hold her to try and warm her up. That seemed like the right thing to do. He removed his jacket, waistcoat, tie and shoes before getting into the bed with her. He put his arms around her and stroked her hair gently, occasionally dropping kisses to her hair and body. He felt her stir, smiling as she opened her eyes.

"I thought I had woken up," she said. "But I'm dreaming. I'm definitely dreaming."

"No, Cora, my dear, you're awake," he said, stroking her face. He leaned down and kissed her softly.

"No, I am dreaming," she replied. "You're in bed with me and you're holding me. That's improper. I'm dreaming. I mean, what on Earth could I do to deserve you, my wonderful, handsome husband? There are plenty of women out there who your time could be spent on. Why would you spend it with me? I'm nothing." She started crying again. "Why the hell won't I just wake up?"

"Cora, are you feeling ill?" he asked, worried that she had gotten sick from sleeping on the floor.

"No," she snapped. "Go spend your time with the women you'd rather be with. Don't hurt me like you did last night. I tried to make our wedding night perfect for you. I got this new nightgown, kept my hair down, tried to make it as romantic as possible, but all you could say to me is that I looked 'nice'? I don't want to go to Paris today, not tomorrow. Not ever, if it's with you. The city of love, ha! You don't even like me."

"Cora," he begged as she tried to wrestle from his arms. "Cora, I do like you, very much. Last night, I was nervous. More nervous than I had ever been in my life. Most men like me, they've experimented with other women. Prostitutes. They know what they're doing in the bedroom, and well, I thought you expected me to know what to do. I didn't, I still don't. When I entered you and saw the look of pain on your face, I knew that I had messed up. I hurt you Cora and that scared me. It terrified me. I'm not supposed to hurt my wife, I'm supposed to look after you. I screwed up horribly. I left you last night because I couldn't bear the thought of being with you again, even though I wanted you so much. I didn't want to hurt you again. You're really the most beautiful woman I have ever met, the most wonderful woman, and I hurt you. I hurt you on what was supposed to be the greatest night of your life. I hurt you when I wanted you to enjoy it. I can't enjoy myself if I hurt you. I feel horrible. And then I saw you lying on the floor and I knew that the damage I had caused was even worse than I imagined. I don't want to hurt you again, so maybe you're right about Paris. Maybe, you could find a man who wouldn't hurt you in bed. A man who knows what he's doing. I'm not fit to be a husband if I've hurt you. I don't deserve you." Tears formed in Robert's eyes as he spoke.

Cora looked at Robert, no longer trying to wrestle out of his arms. He had left out of guilt for hurting her? Cora touched Robert's face gently. "Robert, it's supposed to hurt a woman the first time. Apparently. You did nothing wrong. It's not because you don't know what you're doing. Besides, I'd rather have a man who has never had another woman before, than a man who has other women that I'd have to compete with. The emotional pain after you left was worse than the physical pain. You were so gentle, it wasn't your fault that it hurt. From what my friends tell me, most men aren't gentle, and they try to make it all about them. But do you really think I'm beautiful?" Cora asked, looking into his eyes and smiling.

Robert felt a bit relieved. "Yes, of course I do. How could I not. I said nice because as intelligent as I may be, I really did forget most of my vocabulary and I didn't know what words to say to the wonderful, beautiful woman in front of me. I'm stupid and silly and I just didn't know what to say. Your beauty made me even more nervous last night," he said, blushing lightly. "That's not fair about it hurting a woman. It shouldn't hurt at all. That's horrible. It should be enjoyable, it should be, you know, the most... terrific fun."

Cora giggled. "Are we alright, Robert?" she asked, touching his face again.

"I suppose we are," he said, leaning in to gently kiss her.

"Just promise me two things, Robert," she said.

"Anything Cora."

"Never leave me after our 'terrific fun' again and take me to Paris today," she grinned.

"To Paris we go, and to the bedroom in the hotel we go. Mind you, if it doesn't hurt you anymore, can we spend the whole month in bed together, beautiful?" he asked, raising his eyebrows lightly and smiling.

"Doing what?" Cora asked, pressing their foreheads together?

"Having terrific fun," he whispered, kissing her and pressing her to the bed.

"Absolutely," she replied.


End file.
